I shall close my eyes and pretend nothing happened.
by wenn on Thursday, July 26, 2012
There's so much to bear, so much to express. I don't even know where to begin. Everything has been very frustrating and will probably be so for the rest of my course. Oh yes. I do think about many things other than my academics. Sometimes, I think too much and throw myself into depression which make me more useless than I already am.
I feel like shouting my heart out, with hopes that all the strangling troubles will somehow also be released from within me and leave me in peace to pursue what I perceived as relevant to my future. But truth is, shouting doesn't help, neither does crying and there's only so much I can describe using my limited vocabulary. How I wish that there's someone out there who understands me inside out, who can read my mind and direct me onto the correct path.
Being in the grey zone doesn't feel good at all. Everything is vague, nothing is clear. The way ahead is shaded by mist. Even the signs are misleading.
I'm standing on the edge of cliff in the dark, I have no idea which direction is solid ground and which way would condemn me to the abyss. I'm now standing my ground, unsure of what lies ahead. Do I take a a leap of faith? Should I? By the looks of it, the ground beneath me would not hold for long. It's just a matter of time before it collapse and allow darkness to take hold of my essence.
I wish, for a change that I would just let go of whatever principle I've been holding onto and somehow acquire the courage to free my mind and heart.
I'm standing on the edge of cliff in the dark, I have no idea which direction is solid ground and which way would condemn me to the abyss. I'm now standing my ground, unsure of what lies ahead. Do I take a a leap of faith? Should I? By the looks of it, the ground beneath me would not hold for long. It's just a matter of time before it collapse and allow darkness to take hold of my essence.
I wish, for a change that I would just let go of whatever principle I've been holding onto and somehow acquire the courage to free my mind and heart.
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