by wenn on Saturday, October 27, 2012
Be strong, my mind says. The temptation is only sorrow coated with temporary satisfaction. But alas, I gave in yet again.
Emotion. A double-sided blade indeed.
by wenn on Saturday, October 6, 2012
by wenn on Saturday, September 22, 2012
Edinburgh. Leeds. Leicester. Bristol.
Well, at least I still get to keep my first choice, Leeds and Leicester get to move forward. Due to my pathetic score, I had to give up Glasgow and substitute it with Bristol. But Bristol has never even crossed my mind before. I hope I didn't make the wrong choice. But it's not that they matter anyway. Choosing all these top-notch universities for a course so competitive, how do I even compete with all those geniuses? A medical student who failed biology? Who in the right mind would give me an offer?
I shall have deeper thoughts before applying to these other universities.
by wenn on Friday, September 14, 2012
Well, writing the statement did have some benefit. Before this, everything was sort of in a mess, hiding in every corner of my mind. Now, I guess they're more or less sorted. But then, I also saw how incompetent I am compared to the supposed image of medical students. I still can't picture myself as someone so perfect. But I don't have any more time to think this through. I can only persist and hope that this is truly what I want. All this time, I've been so self-centred. I've never considered the impact of my decision to my family, or anyone for that matter. I have no idea what I'm writing. I tend to lose the ability to process relevant information when I'm under stress and this just prove that.
My choices of university are still empty. I have a rough idea of which university I want. But since even me myself don't believe I can get in, is there still any meaning in applying?
by wenn on Thursday, September 6, 2012
by wenn on Friday, August 24, 2012
I have a whole day to myself. Should I be responsible and carry out my obligations or just focus on the present? Asking the question was only to prove to mind that I'm still sane, which might not last for long.
by wenn on Friday, August 10, 2012
I have probably confined myself in such a way that my mind will forcibly reject all other possible pathways. But recent, I guess I could say indications has led me to believe otherwise. The hierarchy that was once so firmly etched in my mind has all along been inaccurate. Therefore, I find myself to be in doubt once again.
I. Should. Let. Go.
The first indication is obvious. I can't handle stress. If everything goes according to current trend, very soon I'll be stripped of the luxury to write. By then, I'm won't be far from total collapse.
I don't think I can handle it anymore. There's no reason for this. Hence, there won't be any positive outcome. To give up early means I'll be spare of the misery later.
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