Genesis of Life

After so many nights of struggles, I have finally a final draft. At least, one that I'm satisfied with. But somehow, it still doesn't seem impressive enough. Maybe because I'm not fully convinced yet? And probably because of some recent events that have thrown me off the track. How can I be sure I'm suitable when emotions have such adverse effect on me? By right, I'm supposed to focus on achieving the best result. Not fixing my mind on something that I've vowed to keep away from. College is only suppose to challenge me academically.

Well, writing the statement did have some benefit. Before this, everything was sort of in a mess, hiding in every corner of my mind. Now, I guess they're more or less sorted. But then, I also saw how incompetent I am compared to the supposed image of medical students. I still can't picture myself as someone so perfect. But I don't have any more time to think this through. I can only persist and hope that this is truly what I want. All this time, I've been so self-centred. I've never considered the impact of my decision to my family, or anyone for that matter. I have no idea what I'm writing. I tend to lose the ability to process relevant information when I'm under stress and this just prove that.

My choices of university are still empty. I have a rough idea of which university I want. But since even me myself don't believe I can get in, is there still any meaning in applying?

I have been craving for this holiday weeks before trials even started. But then, being alone at home wasn't as much enjoyment as It used to be.