Commitments
by wenn on Friday, February 24, 2012
Congratulation on being chosen into the Editorial Board.
We regret to inform you that your application to PreMed Society committee was unsuccessful.
So, how should I react? I got what I loved but not what I need.
I had the honour of being able to make it into the second selection of the PreMed committee. For the passed 3 days, we have been through hell. Literally. It was stressful, worrying about all those things. But at the same time, it was a great experience. When I was in high school, I never did seize the opportunity to organise an event, which was a great experience I would definitely want to try again. We did great. How could we not get anything? That exact moment when I opened the reply and saw "sorry to inform you". I was devastated. I wanted to be in a committee badly and I did go to great extent to achieve this. And now, I feel like my world is ending. Losing this application means lesser chance of getting scholarships and considering the tuition fees, my dream is another enormous step away. Now, the only way to gain my best chance was to get Best Across Three Subject in the world. I can't even top 24 normal people. How am I suppose to get Best Across with all those geniuses out there? Why u no let me be vp?
We regret to inform you that your application to PreMed Society committee was unsuccessful.
So, how should I react? I got what I loved but not what I need.
I had the honour of being able to make it into the second selection of the PreMed committee. For the passed 3 days, we have been through hell. Literally. It was stressful, worrying about all those things. But at the same time, it was a great experience. When I was in high school, I never did seize the opportunity to organise an event, which was a great experience I would definitely want to try again. We did great. How could we not get anything? That exact moment when I opened the reply and saw "sorry to inform you". I was devastated. I wanted to be in a committee badly and I did go to great extent to achieve this. And now, I feel like my world is ending. Losing this application means lesser chance of getting scholarships and considering the tuition fees, my dream is another enormous step away. Now, the only way to gain my best chance was to get Best Across Three Subject in the world. I can't even top 24 normal people. How am I suppose to get Best Across with all those geniuses out there? Why u no let me be vp?
Well. Today wasn't all that bad. I did get a piece of good news. I got into the Editorial Board. I do feel happy since I have the chance to write again. But that was just what I like, not what I need. But since I didn't get what I need, I might as well do what I like and do it well. Maybe it could make my testimonial shine by a little. But I know it won't be as good as being in the Executive Committee.
Is fate trying to talk to me? That I shouldn't be heading down this road? I will be persistent but do I have the means to?
The first step of studying medicine is to be able to afford the tuition fees. If not scholarships, how the hell will I even have the chance?
first speech. illumination.
by wenn on Saturday, February 18, 2012
Yup. I gave my first ever speech yesterday. Oh, well. It probably doesn't sound anything like one since nobody respond. But, I'm really satisfied to be able to stand in front of a crowd and present myself. Maybe the presenting part wasn't that great. The anxiety, that feeling of wanting to just run out of the lecture theatre and pretend nothing happen were deadly but totally marvellous. After the very-short speech which I think lasted for about one minute and a half, I felt a high sense of accomplishment. Even more satisfying than a bar of 65% dark chocolate, a cup full of Haagen Dazs strawberry cheesecake ice cream, A big slice of Alexis Bistro's Nutty Chocolate Meringue and Oh, you get my point. So satisfying that I sang all the way to the KTM station. Loudly. All those looks from strangers were probably the best indications. Won't even feel sad if I get aero vote too.
Okay. I finally got the time to go to the placement centre, which was a bad idea. After that visit, I was kinda discouraged to pursue medicine. I said before that I was willing to do that course anywhere as long as I can do it. But that wasn't the truth. I wanted to go overseas, not particularly the United Kingdom, just western country. I am not a banana. I loved Chinese and its culture every bit as I could. But I also loved English as equally. I wanted to have the experience of studying abroad. To be every bit as proud as I do ChongHwa. But now, I'm lost. I don't know if that road is really what I want. I loved Science but also Languages, though I do always complain about them. Sciences and Languages are two totally different worlds, like two parallel lines that can never intercept. Now that I'm studying pure science, I missed language classes, especially the essays. I would probably feel the same if it was the other way around.
Right. Signing up for all those activities probably wasn't that bad an idea. Maybe my personal statement could really stand out and they'd invented some medicine and languages joint programme. Oh, well. 16 more months to work on that. My chemistry lecturer actually asked me to bring back top in the world for his birthday wish. Yikes. No pressure. Flattered and Flattened.
Let your passion be the reason for your existence
and your success, the product of your persistence.
Okay. I finally got the time to go to the placement centre, which was a bad idea. After that visit, I was kinda discouraged to pursue medicine. I said before that I was willing to do that course anywhere as long as I can do it. But that wasn't the truth. I wanted to go overseas, not particularly the United Kingdom, just western country. I am not a banana. I loved Chinese and its culture every bit as I could. But I also loved English as equally. I wanted to have the experience of studying abroad. To be every bit as proud as I do ChongHwa. But now, I'm lost. I don't know if that road is really what I want. I loved Science but also Languages, though I do always complain about them. Sciences and Languages are two totally different worlds, like two parallel lines that can never intercept. Now that I'm studying pure science, I missed language classes, especially the essays. I would probably feel the same if it was the other way around.
Right. Signing up for all those activities probably wasn't that bad an idea. Maybe my personal statement could really stand out and they'd invented some medicine and languages joint programme. Oh, well. 16 more months to work on that. My chemistry lecturer actually asked me to bring back top in the world for his birthday wish. Yikes. No pressure. Flattered and Flattened.
Let your passion be the reason for your existence
and your success, the product of your persistence.
It just seem right.
by wenn on Monday, February 6, 2012
I have been struggling with my resume/ curriculum vitae for the passed few days. I have never been in a committee before nor do I know anything about being one. A sudden drastic change like this is totally over my safety limit. But then if I don't, I won't even stand a chance against all those superhuman out there for scholarships.
When I was writing, I stumble upon a recurring questions. Why do I want to apply for that particular post? Why? I have no idea. I just want something to write on my personal statement, for my testimonial to stand out. Well, to tell the truth, if I were the interviewers, I won't choose me. I don't have great leadership and teamwork skills. I'm not a people person. I don't even know what I want anymore. That's just so saddening.
How is it that as a person grows older, confusion follows? How do I get back to the time when I can see the path ahead clearly? The older I get, the more I lose myself. When I look upon my reflection, I don't recognise the face.The world used to be so marvellous, so without worries.
Time's almost up. There's a reason I haven't been to the placement centre yet. I don't have the answers to the simplest question. I have no idea. It just seem right.