Genesis of Life

i've say this many times already
UEC trial is over......
what's to happy?
no more sleepless night?
no more fear that i don't know how to answer?
no more thinking about tests when i should be asleep?
NO!!!
this is just the trial
i've haven't finish the real thing just yet

results.....
good? nope....impossible
bad? not really.....only some
it's neither good nor bad
i don't really know
physics & mathematics
no confidence at all
geography? history?
no feeling....==
biology? chemistry?
total disappointment T.T
who's to blame?
me, myself and I
they were once the subjects i have most confidence in
but now.......=(
they ended up being the biggest disappointment
bm? chinese? english?
not bad actually^^
but i didn't put much effort in these subjects==
but my bm is still no good
no A in neither of the test
well, all in all
it's all my fault if i didn't get good enough result
what if i study earlier?
what if i did many exercises?
no use at all
i'm not one of those reading-material
whatever you call it

that bad habit of mine seemed to get worse over time
i thought it would be better after the tests
but it got worse instead
almost every night, after i turned off the com
still can't get asleep
i would lie on my bed
and start thinking about society& results&friends

friends.......
i did make some new friends this year
and a good thing too
but my friendship with WenYee seemed to worsen as time goes on
where did all that laughing and crying go?
we can't speak our minds to each other anymore
what's happening?
results..........
i'm not going to talk about this
i've talked too much about result
society.......
i've really ignore society these past few months due to the tests
i've haven't touched my dizi for a long time already
i don't know if i still can play that fast
31/10 the next esemble
can't even rest after UEC
argh........
my mind's going to burst