Genesis of Life

Here I am, sitting in front of the computer, with soothing music playing at the background after a long day without touching any text books. The what seemed like an everlasting dark tunnel has finally come to an end. I've craved for this day ever since the exams began. During the exams, every moment was pure torture, piles and piles of books and exercises waiting to be done. Even thinking about it now makes me shiver. I'm starting to wonder why i make a fuss over monthly tests.

Overall, the tests weren't very hard comparing to past year paper, especially math. Lucky us! Oh, okay, maybe not for history. Still hateful as ever. So, UEC ended. Did I have a sudden rush of adrenaline and tell everyone I can find that it end? Nah, I don't even feel any different from before. So, the fun began after that. As for me, went Times Square with zy, sy, ky, qj, yh, k, zq & yt.

I have to admit, I never had so much fun before. Played bowling for the first time. Hesitated for a really long time, finally gave in and bought a really costly book. And I think i've wandered more that day than i've ever did in a whole year. No offence. Pasta for lunch and KFC for dinner. Then, dad came and went home at about 9.30 pm. Yea, pm as in night, I know i'm bad. So, the conclusion? enjoyed^^

Woke up at about 11am today, started watching tv after having brunch. Okay, the pictures were moving but i didn't pay any attention to it. In case you're wondering.No, I'm not thinking about anything. Absolutely nothing. My mind was blank, totally shut down after the exams. Hmm... I'm getting really long-winded here. But since I have all the time in the world now, I can and I will do anything i want.

This is what i've been waiting for, right? Freedom. Yea, everyone longs for it. But now, with all the exams gone, I felt weird. Seemed like there's nothing for me to do anymore. It's like life suddenly lost its target. What's my aspiration? Where's the inspiration? Urgh...... I hate? being at home alone with nothing to do.

Special thanks to my study group. Thanks for everything.

Lastly, do forgive me if i bored you. =)
British Council?

Oh, okay
i'm just here to be rid of the voices in my head
so, just skip this if you treasure your time

How's studying?
good, for now

Enjoyed it?
no, this is definitely not the best time i've had

Shouldn't you be studying now?
Ya, i should but i don't want to

And look at the time, shouldn't you be in bed?
told you.... voices in my head

Oh, goody.....
it's 2am, again

Why are you thinking so much recently?
I don't know.......
Maybe it's because that someone who vanished, just came back to life?
What a good timing

Shouldn't you be a good girl and listen to what daddy said?
For starter, i'm not a good girl
and secondly, he's younger than me ^^

How's PMR?
Eww......
Yucks.......
BM gone

Confident in UEC?
What do you think?
not even getting good enough results in PMR
and yet i'm here

So, the conclusion?
I'm having UEC 6 days later
and i'm still getting online every night
Everyone seemed to be a bit emotional recently?

there's so many things in my mind now
voices
faces
History
but i can't find a specific thing to think about
pathetic, isn't it?

i'm not thinking about things i should be thinking about
instead
i'm thinking about things that i didn't know i'll be thinking before
i KNOW what i'm talking about

Where are you?
7800 km
4 hours
6 years
i missed you
i think i should stop thinking now
and go straight off to bed
Nites......

Happy birthday, mom
Love you forever ^^

Oh, well....
PMR is/was over

coming up next
UEC........
more studying
more concentration
more disappointment

Hey.....
i just need to study more
as daddy said
be optimistic^^

List of subjects need to revise
Biology
Chemistry
Physics
History
Geography

Why can't we sit for UEC first?

surprised huh?
thought i said not to touch the com again
but as i suspected
i can't resist the temptation

finished studying?
for PMR
well, you know
i'm not going to say anything

i don't feel secure
according to what i've experienced these few days
the night before the particular test
i don't feel like studying
and then at the last minute
i felt regret, afraid........
seemed like there're still many things that i haven't revise yet
but as i said it's the last minute
what can i do?
blaming myself for not studying more

4 down
still have 4 to go
math, sejarah, kh, chinese
until now, the papers weren't very hard exactly
but........
careless me
probably'll lose bm

can't feel anything right now
it's like being in a void
no direction
no one to rely on
no one to point out the orientation
everything is so blur
you're on your own
no one'll be there to help you

i wanted to study
but i can't find the impetus to

pity..........

good luck to everyone
meilleurs vœux