It hurts much more than I thought It would.
by wenn on Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Plan A. Shattered.
It's holiday tomorrow. Luckily.
Plan B means Senior three.
Seems like ChongHwa doesn't want to release me yet.
But..
Alright.
That's back to the drawing board for me.
It's holiday tomorrow. Luckily.
Plan B means Senior three.
Seems like ChongHwa doesn't want to release me yet.
But..
Alright.
That's back to the drawing board for me.
capricious.
by wenn on Monday, October 10, 2011
It's really annoying how adult could be so predictably unpredictable.
Or was it just me?
Yesterday was the open day of my about-to-be Alma Mater
It's been a great pleasure aside from being inhumanly exhausting.
Anyway, most of the parent had already planned their child's future
Which college to go, what course to take, etcetera...
And they're just in primary school!
In contrast,
I'm about to sort-of-graduate.
And I'm still not really sure about the way ahead.
Oh, sure. Someone might say it's great to be in control of one's own future.
Problem is. It's way out of my safety limit.
Well, I just don't like being lost.
Like I used to be. Last year.
Well, the mist is starting to clear up. I guess?
More or less. It's already planned out.
So, sorry mom.
There's definitely no way I'm taking economics.
Even if it means getting to study in the UK.
Fingers crossed.
Or was it just me?
Yesterday was the open day of my about-to-be Alma Mater
It's been a great pleasure aside from being inhumanly exhausting.
Anyway, most of the parent had already planned their child's future
Which college to go, what course to take, etcetera...
And they're just in primary school!
In contrast,
I'm about to sort-of-graduate.
And I'm still not really sure about the way ahead.
Oh, sure. Someone might say it's great to be in control of one's own future.
Problem is. It's way out of my safety limit.
Well, I just don't like being lost.
Like I used to be. Last year.
Well, the mist is starting to clear up. I guess?
More or less. It's already planned out.
So, sorry mom.
There's definitely no way I'm taking economics.
Even if it means getting to study in the UK.
Fingers crossed.
collapsed.
by wenn on Monday, October 3, 2011
I was never a believer in fate.
Until now.
I don't know what's the definition of hard work
But I know I've given my everything for this trial.
And yet?
Fate has a weird sense of humour.
It's been playing me around for so long.
I can't help but think I'm predestined to never get my way.
I'm tired of fighting the losing battle.
But still I don't have the guts to let go.
Deja vu.
Until now.
I don't know what's the definition of hard work
But I know I've given my everything for this trial.
And yet?
Fate has a weird sense of humour.
It's been playing me around for so long.
I can't help but think I'm predestined to never get my way.
I'm tired of fighting the losing battle.
But still I don't have the guts to let go.
Deja vu.
You seemed like an interesting person.
by wenn on Saturday, October 1, 2011
So, trial ended.
Conclusion, there goes my 18k
The more I studied, the more I felt them slipping through my hand.
I don't even know if I can get 1k.
During 25 Sept, I was still torn between going and not going to the interview.
So, I make a daring choice.
I'm glad I did.
After the briefing, from which I know I'm the first of Group B, we were led to a series of corridor, the others were assigned to their specific interview rooms in threes. But I was the only one called to mine. When I opened the door which I hoped was somehow locked but wasn't, A blonde guy was sitting at the other end of the room. My interviewer, Easton Hanna. Canadian.
Great. Just great.
Some fun stuff.
Him: Why is there so much exams in Malaysia? (Not a question)
Me: No offence. But I don't really like America.
Him: It's okay. I'm not American. Me neither.
During the whole interview, I was speaking broken English, with pauses here and there. Come to think of it now, there's also quite a lot of funny/weird answers which I definitely would not use in my writing. Totally embarrassing! This might actually cost me the scholarship. Can I reverse the time? Speaking of time, It was so surprising that the session lasted for an hour. Have I really spoken that much? Hmm...
Well, although I did badly and probably didn't stand a chance against all those SMK students. I'm still hoping. Anyway, this was my first interview and I'm really glad I went. Every fragment of details was still fresh in my mind. Well, that just proved how embarrassing it was.
And the title. It was a statement he kept repeating. Yea, I know he's just pep-talking me.
Oh, and he kept telling me to sell myself.
I've been waiting for a week to blog about this. It's just plain exciting to be recalling it now. Even more breathtaking than finishing trial.
If only I could speak like I write. Sigh.
I do really need to speak more English. Seriously.
Conclusion, there goes my 18k
The more I studied, the more I felt them slipping through my hand.
I don't even know if I can get 1k.
During 25 Sept, I was still torn between going and not going to the interview.
So, I make a daring choice.
I'm glad I did.
After the briefing, from which I know I'm the first of Group B, we were led to a series of corridor, the others were assigned to their specific interview rooms in threes. But I was the only one called to mine. When I opened the door which I hoped was somehow locked but wasn't, A blonde guy was sitting at the other end of the room. My interviewer, Easton Hanna. Canadian.
Great. Just great.
Some fun stuff.
Him: Why is there so much exams in Malaysia? (Not a question)
Me: No offence. But I don't really like America.
Him: It's okay. I'm not American. Me neither.
During the whole interview, I was speaking broken English, with pauses here and there. Come to think of it now, there's also quite a lot of funny/weird answers which I definitely would not use in my writing. Totally embarrassing! This might actually cost me the scholarship. Can I reverse the time? Speaking of time, It was so surprising that the session lasted for an hour. Have I really spoken that much? Hmm...
Well, although I did badly and probably didn't stand a chance against all those SMK students. I'm still hoping. Anyway, this was my first interview and I'm really glad I went. Every fragment of details was still fresh in my mind. Well, that just proved how embarrassing it was.
And the title. It was a statement he kept repeating. Yea, I know he's just pep-talking me.
Oh, and he kept telling me to sell myself.
I've been waiting for a week to blog about this. It's just plain exciting to be recalling it now. Even more breathtaking than finishing trial.
If only I could speak like I write. Sigh.
I do really need to speak more English. Seriously.
Reminiscence.
by wenn on Saturday, September 10, 2011
1 week. 7 days. 168 hours. 10080 minutes. 604800 seconds
I'm still nowhere near ready to sit for the trial.
I really don't want to screw this up.
600 others are facing the same situation
But It still feels like I'm alone
Competing with those whom I hold dear
Do I even have the means?
I'm really afraid
It's as if my fear is eating my very essence
Leaving me hollow on the inside.
Like a robot, doing only what it's programmed to do.
All these late night studying
As the title suggests
Pieces of memory resurfaced.
Somehow, they don't look the same any more.
Everyone
At some point
Will be forced to make decisions
Decisions they would regret for a long long time
Even if time could be reversed
The same decision will still be made under different circumstances
At least I knew you tried.
I'm still nowhere near ready to sit for the trial.
I really don't want to screw this up.
600 others are facing the same situation
But It still feels like I'm alone
Competing with those whom I hold dear
Do I even have the means?
I'm really afraid
It's as if my fear is eating my very essence
Leaving me hollow on the inside.
Like a robot, doing only what it's programmed to do.
All these late night studying
As the title suggests
Pieces of memory resurfaced.
Somehow, they don't look the same any more.
Everyone
At some point
Will be forced to make decisions
Decisions they would regret for a long long time
Even if time could be reversed
The same decision will still be made under different circumstances
At least I knew you tried.
by wenn on Monday, August 29, 2011
Can anyone grant me a wish?
Make sejarah disappear please..
I can't believe I actually
Didn't go to the bookfair for it. -__-
看我怎样宰死你！
Conclusion
1. I need extra doses of norepinephrine & dopamine. -.-
2. Sejarah caused indigestion
Dear memories,
You do know how much I love you right?
Please love me back.
And stay right where you are.
You can go anywhere after December.
Make sejarah disappear please..
I can't believe I actually
Didn't go to the bookfair for it. -__-
看我怎样宰死你！
Conclusion
1. I need extra doses of norepinephrine & dopamine. -.-
2. Sejarah caused indigestion
Dear memories,
You do know how much I love you right?
Please love me back.
And stay right where you are.
You can go anywhere after December.
by wenn on Wednesday, August 24, 2011
I guess my limited vocabulary isn't enough
Just to start describing how I feel.
Maybe there aren't any words
Five years. Three years.
Both are my most precious treasure.
How can I ever leave them?
It just keeps getting harder and harder.
But still, I'm a lucky girl after all.
You said when I'm your age
I'll understand
I am now. I still don't.
Just to start describing how I feel.
Maybe there aren't any words
Five years. Three years.
Both are my most precious treasure.
How can I ever leave them?
It just keeps getting harder and harder.
But still, I'm a lucky girl after all.
You said when I'm your age
I'll understand
I am now. I still don't.